A Clever Diversion

all these fucking hoops you have to jump through if you don’t use credit cards…

i have been going back and fourth…. driving around all fucking day trying to get this motherfucking rental car so I can go to chattanooga this weekend (my mom wants me to bring back the couch my uncle gave me.. so i need to get a rental car [have david drive it back to louisville because the airport is the only place that does one-way car rentals and they don’t do debit cards at all!] and then drive a truck with the couch back). 

you have to have a damn kentucky license and 2 bills (and they must be UTILITY bills) with your address on it and/or  1 utility bill and 1 pay stub with your address on it and your address has to match the license. AND THEY MUST BE RECENT UTILITY BILLS. i recycle those… why would i keep them after i paid them? what about people who go paperless? i have random ones laying around…. but those aren’t “the most recent”. 

and i had to go get a fucking kentucky license (this is before i found out i must have “recent” utility bills). and it’s ugly as hell… and the county clerk wouldn’t let me keep my old tennessee license.

and if i go back to enterprise rental car service … and this motherfucking 45-year-old looking justin timberlake character tells me ANOTHER piece of fuckery (because none of this was told to us all it once.. it’s been we have to keep going back over and over again and he adds another CRUCIAL piece of information to what he says each time.. like oh, it can’t be any bill. it must be a utility bill…. oh, you’re back. okay well.. it must be a recent utility bill..), i’m going to

i can’t even print off my most recent bills… my online accounts for my utility bills have NEVER worked because of the incompetence of the damn companies. they don’t have my fucking address correct. how hard is it? IT’S A HOUSE THAT’S BEEN TURNED INTO 2 APARTMENTS… apartment A and apartment B. but no… i call them to get it corrected, and afterwards, it still wasn’t right. then, i called these idiots again last year when someone moved into the apartment upstairs and they couldn’t get their internet turned on because of the fucked up addresses. i told them “I’M APARTMENT A”. they sent out a person and everything. why the hell does the bill say apartment “1F” ???????? when i said “a.. as in apple”.. .you heard “1F”???? like, you changed it from the incorrect address… to another incorrect address??? 

and i think the other utility company recorded my phone number incorrectly and all these things have to match perfectly (phone number, zip code, account #, social security #) in order to set up an online account for the electric/gas company. once again, i’ve TRIED to get it corrected in the past…. yet, here i sit unable to get an account online and unable to see my bills online.

i tried to print off something anyway. i’m sitting in the department trying to print something off… and shannon is in there. she wants to talk about how she’s lost in her classes. NIGGA, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH TODAY? i’ve been driving back and fourth around louisville trying to get all this shit together and now i’m trying one of these last resorts, which isn’t working out and you want to bog me down with the fact that you’re not understanding your classes?? people don’t even ask you how you’re doing.. they just be focused on themselves.  like, i told her last weekend, DO YOUR READING AND GET SOME EXTRA REVIEWS OF THE READING SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND HOW OTHERS INTERPRET THE THE TEXT TO GAIN YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. what the fuck else do you want me to say to you? whatever you want me to say, this ain’t the time. 

and david has been absolutely 10 out of 100 help. .. so he’s 10% helpful and 90% you’re getting on my nerves. coming up with ridiculous ideas… adding unnecessary words into the atmosphere. then, gonna tell me i’m driving “impatiently.”

it’s rush hour….. everyone is driving “impatiently” and we’re getting stopped by every red light! i’m getting passed by other cars… i’m not speeding.. so…what do you want me to do exactly, mr. nigga who runs red lights and takes shortcuts through streets that have signs that clearly read “do not enter”?  then, he wanna talk about when we’ll be able to get weed for the trip… NIGGA, STAY FOCUSED. it ain’t gonna be a fucking trip if i don’t get the rental car. so…. why does that matter right now?

just adding unnecessary words into the atmosphere… 

then my mom is texting me with ideas that i already know won’t work. i TOLD her the uhaul would be expensive when she first told me to get the couch.. “no.. i don’t care. i want this couch gone.. blah blah blah” now… she coming up talking about  ”well.. the uhaul was $300.. that’s too expensive so maybe we can rent a flatbed truck from the rental car place when you get here.” well… i told you the shit was expensive months ago. now i gotta wait around on you to see if you can even rent a flatbed truck from the airport (because it will have to be a one-way rental). none of this i don’t think she’ll be able to do because i already went through this when i first moved to louisville. she won’t take my suggestions… not realizing that if she is unable to figure out how to get the couch up here, i’ve basically wasted my time trying to get the rental car today. 

i knew it was gonna be fucking difficult.. and lemme tell you whats about to happen.. i’m about to still not have a couch. and i’m about to end up driving my shit-tastic car (which i saw something hanging down from underneath it today and the car was making a weird noise -_____- ) and pray that hoe makes it to chatt.

i don’t even really care to get the couch right now. i’m just trying to get home for my aunt’s 50 birthday/5 years free from breast cancer party.

that’s all i’m trying to do. and i know i’m ranting but i think it shouldn’t be this motherfucking difficult. 

and to top it all off.. ima have to look at this fucking ugly ass kentucky driver’s license… .and people are gonna look at it and think i’m from kentucky.