A Clever Diversion

even though i only had like 2 hours of sleep, i woke up on saturday perky as hell. eminem day! i woke right up and got dressed and left the campsite. liz virgo texted me and said she was just chilling, charging her phone with her laptop. i thought, as my boyfriend would say, “hell yeah…. that’s the move!” so, i headed to her campsite to charge my phone up. but the phones were charging so slowly. her computer was about to die and they still weren’t charging fast enough. so, we decided to head to centeroo to the phone charging station. when i got there, even though it was early, there was already a long line. and we found out the place wasn’t going to open until noon.. and also, i’d have to wait in line, wait for the phone to charge, and there was still no guarantee that it would charge. i was trying to get a good spot for eminem so, i just was not about to wait that long. i suggested we looked around for some vendors who weren’t paying attention and/or would let us use their outlet to charge our phone. after getting shut down by a vendor, we found this large tee pee like set-up that was there to promote a petition against mountaintop removal. the place had fans and shade in it and you could stay as long as you wanted. there was also a free outlet! i signed the petition, as an appalachian girl should, and charged up my phone. then, i charged up liz virgo’s phone… but noon was fast approaching. i had wanted to be at the eminem line waiting at like 10am. i’m such a stan i know… but like i said, what’s the point of going if you’re not in front? i left liz virgo in the tee pee (she wanted to finish napping) and went over to the main stage.

there was already like 30 people there waiting. we had to wait outside of the stage area until noon, which luckily wasn’t too far away. then, after some confusion, the security guards finally pulled away the fence and everyone ran towards the stage. at first, i ran to the front of the stage, thinking that was as close as we could get, but then i realized that others were running to stand in a line by the stage. i figured that was where the pit line was.. so i ran over there instead. it was where i wanted to be. so, i laid out my towel.. pulled out my umbrella.. and fan and tried to stay cool during the 11 hour wait to see eminem. the people around me were really cool. we all kind of made a pact… we were not letting anyone break in front of us. many had been at the lil wayne concert in the pit and did not want all that squishing to happen again (that fat girl that i made friends with during that concert? yeah? when we were squished in line, i could feel her gut in my butt area. it was atrocious. never again). there were a couple of people from detroit, kentucky, and from other states and even canada. we actually had a great time. we kind of bonded. liz virgo joined after her nap and we just sat around chilling. liz just had to go hoola hoop… she ended up losing her shoes. ha! and most of the bands that were playing were really good. there was dennis coffey, black uhuru, and the more anticipated wiz khalifa. wiz was good, but i thought that lil wayne should have performed on that big stage instead. wiz’s show lacked the production value to carry a huge stage and area like that, which is understandable because he’s still a pretty new act. lil wayne was on a smaller stage but his show had the production value. he should have been on that stage, not wiz. i felt the wiz show would have been better under one of the tents in a more intimate setting. just my opinion. it was still a good show though. 

after wiz, things started getting hectic. but me and my friends in the front of the line were determined to not end up squished together for hours. so, we sat down and held our ground through the next act, the black keys, which i think, sucked. i just wasn’t impressed. and i was expecting a lot since they had aziz ansari  introduce them (he “mistakenly” called them “the black eyed peas” and then said he had just gotten word that the black eyed peas had died in a hot air balloon accident.. lol). i was bored by them really and they seemed to drag on and on and on, even though they technically ended their performance earlier than scheduled. after they were done, we started getting pressure from the back of the line. but we cursed… and chanted… and refused for anyone to break in front of us. when people tried, we were so rude to them… even if they were making a mistake… we didn’t care. liz and i would sing “although there’s pain in my chest… i still wish you the best… with a fuck yoooouuuuu!!!” lol. yeah, get your ass to the back of the line! and when people would try to stand and try to get everyone to stand up and rush… everyone would be like “naw… sit yo ass down!” lol. we weren’t going. but eventually, we lost focus. the only people in the line i didn’t like were these snooty girls in the very front. they would come and go all day… leaving a spot for each other, so, they really didn’t stay up there the whole time. and one of them had a bloody bathing suit bottom and she just would not sit down! i’m like… “why isn’t any of her ‘friends’ telling her!!!!???” if any of my friends let me walk around like that, i’m telling you, no matter how many years we have been close, that will be the end of our friendship right there. suddenly, all of them got up.. and so, everyone felt that rush, you know… including me.. and we all rushed to the front, not realizing that we still had like 2 hours of waiting to go. so, we had to stand for 2 hours until eminem came instead of being comfortable like we were before. once that happened, our little community fell apart. people got super bitchy and it was just a mess. it was interesting to watch really. liz and i stayed chill though. no time for that. just tryna have a good time! but the security guard came over and was like “noo… what happened? why’d y’all get up. y’all were my good side! y’all realize y’all gotta stand for 2 hours now right?” … it made me feel kind of bad. like, when the teacher would get on you in elementary school. 

we waited and stood for 2 hours. my feet and ankles started hurting again. after a few people collapsed, we were finally let through… only to find many people already there. these so-called “v.i.p. infinity members” were friends of the woman who runs the show apparently. it just sucked having someone in front of me who did not know the words to “the way i am.” it’s like, why are you even here if you don’t know the words to that song? although i was pissed about that, i still enjoyed the show. it was kind of similar to his set and playlist in detroit last year, but his latest songs were added to the line-up, including his new ones with royce da 5’9, who joined him on the stage. his eyes were… still.. so very nice. great performance. it was a very hype (/high) crowd, a better crowd than the one i had in detroit. and at the end, fireworks went off. it was just a really happy time. such a great show… still not better than home&home though because at the home&home jay-z, drake, and dr. dre were there. that show was ridiculous. 

after the eminem show, my body was not feeling good. liz and i stopped and watched STS9, but my feet were not feeling it at all. i tried to hold out but once liz got tired i was happy to depart for the night… and leave the night on the high of an eminem concert. on the way back to my campsite, i was talking to my boyfriend (pretty much trying to figure out if he could just come down and pick me up right then cause i was really ready to go home.. i mean.. what’s gonna be better than eminem?) and i found a old white guy’s wallet. i think i had seen him a minute before struggling to get on a taxi cause the driver didn’t realize he hadn’t sat down and began to speed off. scary. anyways, i think it was his wallet. i tried to run down the taxi but it wasn’t stopping. anyways, the wallet had money clipped on the outside of it and everything. that guy better be glad i found it because my first instinct was to return it. i wouldn’t even return it to the vendor nearby nor any of the taxi chart drivers where i found it because i was afraid they’d steal it. i took it all the way to an information booth… and was still reluctant because i mean, they are just volunteers. they don’t care about us. they just wanted a free ticket. i hope he got it back in tact cause i would hate for that shit to happen to me. that would be a tragedy.

nada had told me she would be ready to leave as soon as possible on sunday, which i was cool with. so, i got up, baby wiped myself down, bought some merchandise, and then we left. i did kind of want to see robyn and cold war kids, but i was like “fuck it. it’s been long enough.” it was a good and layered time. there’s like a gazillion other mini-stories i could talk about (like how on the first day, nada and i walked around and every time we saw another black person we would sing “black…. peeeoopllleeeeeeeeeeee” in their direction and wait for them to react. lol!?), but, this is already long enough as it is, dontcha think? lol. i’ll upload better pictures and video soon! 

i also compiled a list of tips for anyone wanting to go to bonnaroo (and i do want to go back, so all of my friends need to be getting prepared for next year):

1. bring a hoolahoop.. trust me on this one.

2. porta potties.. whatever you do, don’t look down.

3. buy your tix early.. i had to pay so much more than they originally costed because i decided to get them very late. 

4. do your research.. know what to truly expect. you can also learn lots of tips online. like the road we decided to go down in the caravan of people, i knew it was gonna put us far away from centeroo because people had warned against that road online. we ended up a 20-30 minute walk away from the action. not fun. 

5. tye dye.. it’s a good thing.

6. if you’re trying to be clean… there’s dust everywhere so forget about it.

7. chill + relax = chillax.. the more relaxed you are, the better time you’ll have. if you’re super concerned about every little thing, on top of the heat, you’re just asking to be stressed out and sick. you don’t need that. that’s not what bonnaroo is about at all. 

8. go in the fountain the first day.. they recycle the water, so after that first day, it’s pretty much AIDS sauce.

9. follow your gut.

10. see as many shows as possible and meet as many people as possible. 

bonnaroo fell into a routine really quickly. you cannot sleep past 9am. like, it’s too damn hot. on friday, i actually woke up at around 6:30 because i had to go pee. after that, i hung out under the canopy and tried to stay cool. the only act i really wanted to see that day was lil wayne, but he wasn’t scheduled until 1:30am. nada really wanted to see atmosphere and was also familiar with a couple of other bands. so, we made a loose schedule of what we’d do that day and headed to centeroo at around noon. however, before we even left camp, nada complained that she wasn’t feeling good again. even after we ate (i had to have another corn dog! lol), she was feeling bad. when we got to the stage area, instead of trying to get a good spot to see atmosphere, she just wanted to sit down by the stage. the band that was playing at the time, phosphorescent, sucked really bad! they were awful. so, i left nada there for a minute while i went to go have an herbal refreshment. when i came back, i started to think about the lil wayne performance later on. my iphone takes such great video. better than my camera. and i wanted to get some decent footage of lil wayne. i decided to go charge my phone up at the phone charging station. i told nada i’d be back. when i found the phone charging station, the line was super long and people looked pissed. i tried to maneuver my way to the front, but the line just was not moving at all, and the sun was blazing hot. after a while, i was like “fuck it.” i went back to the side of the stage where i had left nada, but she wasn’t there and had left her phone at the campsite. in her place, was a whole bunch of people trying to get a good position for the next act, matt & kim. i looked over the crowd. it was packed. i knew that since she was feeling sick, there was no way she would be up in that mess. so, i thought that maybe she moved out to get some air, i circled the entire stage searching for her. then, i checked the emergency tent, thinking she could have felt sick enough to go back there. then, i searched the porta potty area… the food area… and all the nearby shady areas. still, no nada. i went back to the front of the stage to make sure, but there were so many people. i decided to just sit under a nearby tree and wait for her to pass by. the crowd was going crazy for matt & kim, and they were really good. after their performance, i decided to go into the crowd and try to get into a good position to see florence + the machine, who i kinda wanted see. before them, atmosphere performed. he was just aight to me. i wasn’t really impressed. like 5 songs into his performance, i see nada with a train of girls leaving the front of the crowd. 

baffled. 

i caught her attention and told her i had been looking for her. she nonchalantly told me that she had been in the front in the crowd this entire time. i was pretty pissed. i stayed in the crowd for atmosphere, who didn’t move me, and then watched some of florence + the machine, who were great (her voice is amazing). i left during the middle of the performance to get a good position for lil wayne. the stage lil wayne was performing on was different from the others i had been at. in the front, they had a pit set up where if you were going to see that particular band and wanted to be close, you could. only about 150 people can fit in that front area. after the band you wanted to see performed, you had to get out of the pit and in line if you wanted to see the next performance in the pit. i didn’t know this. so, i told the security guy that i did want to see ray lamontagne, who sucked by the way… but ron jeremy was there, thinking that i would get to stay in the front until lil wayne performed. but after ray lamontagne was done, everyone was forced to get out of the pit. i asked the security guy where i could wait for lil wayne, and he directed me to a small line against a wall near the stage. i sat down next to some really cool people. two ghetto white girls from georgia and one overweight chick from somewhere i can’t remember. we talked. had beers. and just chilled. they were super cool. 

even though the security guard said that the lil wayne line started by the wall, before primus played, who had 3 parachuters drop from the sky and sprinkle glitter over the crowd but otherwise didn’t impress me, things started getting disorganized. suddenly me and the other people who had been waiting for hours found ourselves scrambling to line up in a new line that had began. it was torture. hours of standing shoulder to shoulder with strangers. it was hot. and nasty. and tiresome. my feet and ankles began to hurt so bad. but, i held out and made my way to the front of the new line. finally, they let us go through to the pit. i got a pretty sweet spot on the right side of the stage, front row. lil wayne was really good too. energetic. crunk. not sloppy like i thought he would be. he brought out some random lame people from his label too. he also tried to get sexy and i saw some of his pubes… eww. but otherwise, it was a great show. i was really surprised by his focus. after the show, i was pretty exhausted, but i got a text from this girl i had met in louisville a couple of weeks ago, liz virgo (she’s a rapper but that’s her real name!). she had finally made her way to bonnaroo. we met up and hung out for a few hours. fortunately, pretty lights, did like four encores and were still playing on another stage. visually stimulating. liz virgo was ready to party hard because she had just gotten there, but i was tired and my feet and ankles hurt so bad from walking around looking for nada and standing for hours for lil wayne. i had to go get some rest. she had driven right up to the concert and forgot where she parked and where her campsite was. so, i helped her find it and then tried to get back to my own campsite. i ended up getting really frustrated because i couldn’t find my way in the dark. i was like about to cry because my feet hurt so damn bad and i was just so frustrated. i had to climb over a fence and everything. ugh. frustrated. but, i finally found our campsite and crashed. 

part 3 soon.